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akiramenai yo!

anything about me and my ichiban

(no subject)

i try to follow the flow, seems it didn't work anymore. or it's just my head thinking too deep. that makes my heart can't breath. suddenly i realize, the flow just leave me behind. and i already sink to the deep. or it was just my head thinking too deep.

somethin' changes inme
i had feeling of frustation, don't know what to do, think everyones hate me, dont have money (poory-ing myself). those tons of negatives. if it is a depression, then what a perfect day to turn off my cellphone and faceb**k account. urgently need to be alone. though somebody already pressed the-destruction-button-off out me, seems like the destruction itself still activated just in a slow mode.

Billie and Raisha
Billie and Raisha are my students (actually they're my friend's in work students), they are both 4 years old. They join reading class three times a week at 1-2 pm, but today their household assistents already told us that they will be late to pick them up after class.
And that made me start to know Billie and Raisha. They are good girls. Thanks to them I now know (or remember), that sharpening pencils is also interesting from children viewpoint! And making paper airplane, and jumping in the floor while trying not crossing the line, too!
Children are so pure, they did what they like, they obey when they got interest at. And they are so kind. I'm blessed by met them today.
So I'd like to say thanks to them who made my day brigher! >3< Thank you, Billie and Raisha! <3

(no subject)
Title : “Shige where does your eyes staring at?”
Pairing : TegoShige (?), OTP 4
Rating : PG 13
Disclaimer : this is all fiction
Length : drabble
Warning : my grammar and lame story, hha (?) my point is, be positive (?).

thanks for remind me to post it, riikushi

“Shige where does your eyes staring at?”

Keiichan who’s standing beside him asks and laugh, because when he’s looking towards Shige on his slanting eyes, he saw his best friend is staring at something, distracted from what he is doing right now. He simple realizes the reason when he follows Shige’s eyes direction.

Shige’s eyes unconsciously following the source of attraction. And that attraction Keiichan’s talking about is no else but Tegoshi butt’s movement. Tegoshi is on squatting position facing paint cans and back to back to Shige, while the man that Shige’s looking at is seriously picking the color for the paint he would use for his draw. They are on a photo shoot project for their pamphlet tour. The staffs set a big set of musical score wall as the background and the photographer said that they should draw at it as they please.

Shige blushes in a second and laughs on himself. He knows Keiichan teases him. No answer came out as a reply but mumbles “his bottom is hot.” And both of them laugh out loud distracting Tegoshi and Massu from their own activities.
“What?” Tegoshi asks and face them on questioned face. Keiichan as the leader then replies pretend nothing’s happened to protect his best friend from another bully.

“No. Let create a big hit today! Tegoshi you should pick the green one for the best color!”

“Are you sure it is okay?” Tegoshi picks the green paint can even the one he asked has not gives his agreement. He starts to draw on the wall set beside Shige and Massu. They then try to concentrate more on the wall. No one notice the photographer had captured that moment on photograph.


When NEWS members come to the set, I asked them to do what they wanna do freely and naturally. I don't even give any direction, but 'paint this big musical score wall'. From the start I have a sign that this people will give me good photographs. Suddenly I catch a moment when I saw Kato-san’s eyes who stare at Tegoshi's back. At first I thought 'is it normal for a Johnnys to stare at someone else's butt?' Of course, I hope fans will treasure that Tegoshige's moment happily. To think it is precious moment that rarely happened, suddenly my finger presses on camera button.

no subject
serahkan pekerjaan kepada yang memahami dan menguasainya. :'(

trial fic koyatego part 1
Title : ma~ ma~ sore dake ii yo~
Pairing : koyatego
Rating : PG13
Disclaimer : ???
Author Note : i made this trial fic by suggest from riikushi
thanks to her i could finish this project..xDD

It's already 10 o'clock in the morning of his 2nd days-off, still Tegoshi leans under his bed's side at his summer resort room. He is embracing his raw legs like a kid. He feels happy yet insecure for the first time in his life. It's something embarrassing to be told. He suddenly blushing when he remember the reason of his feeling and he felt he had been blushing enough to spare him two life and he started to get fed up of it.

It is all Keiichan's fault, to treat me like that..he thought.

Tegoshi knows, it's technically his own fault. He loves teasing Keiichan, (still he thinks it's Keiichan's faults who easy to be prank of). He gave Keiichan's cheek a kiss in Live3x concert, after 10th concert he interrupted Keiichan's shower time and finally went shower together, Shige even took a picture of them sleep in a hug after that.

That's all his own fault, he sigh.. He unconsciously embracing his own legs tighter and wipes his raw back. What happened yesterday suddenly comes into his mind.

Tegoshi and his close friend met Keiichan accidentally at the beach resort. As sunset becomes night, from a glass to glasses, they got passed the drunk point. Firstly they talk about nothing than how's work, a soccer match final score, and so on and so on.

And it was Tegoshi's close friend who starts to talk about Tegoshi's private life, how talented Tegoshi as a striker is, how kind Tegoshi's mother is, or how cute is Tegoshi's way of sleep at their soccer camp. Anything that Keiichan doesn't know about Tegoshi. No wonder if Keiichan suddenly cuts Tegoshi's friend talk off.

"Ano sa~" Keiichan talks in a half drunk mode, "My Yuuya..” he says in a high pitch tone, and Tegoshi know that Keiichan has passed his drunk point when he used the word ‘my’ instead of ‘our’ when he want to boost out about NEWS member, like they were his belonging (maybe not 100% wrong since the said man was actually their leader) “..is not only good at soccer, you know.. He is good at singing and dancing too.. And only I know his secret behaviour.. when we get drunk.. in private of course.. he always try to bites my ear.. I know this part of him that you don't!!" He ended smug proudly.

"Stop it, Keiichan.. That's embarrassing.." Tegoshi who sits beside Keiichan punches Keiichan's arm, ready to defend that his blushing cheeks are due to the alcohol not because what Keiichan just said. For that moment when Tegoshi downs his guard, Keiichan suddenly steals a kiss from Tegoshi's lips..

Tegoshi awaken from his daydream with totally red cheeks. He couldn't be help but being blush, again, for the nth times that morning. He aware (he's actually convincing himself) that was not a love kiss. Keiichan got drunk. They did lovey dove but those were only for fans service, Tegoshi still convincing himself, despite the fact that there no fans around them and Tegoshi's best friend is definitely not NEWS fan either.

Okay, he finally decide, Keiichan successfully got a prank on me..

Tegoshi decide to take a rest and hope everything will fix itself when he wake up, but when he slowly moves to his bed and lays down on it, he felt something is wrong, his blanket shouldn’t felt that warm and what is the thing that wrapped tightly in his waist? (even though he know what exactly it is, but he refused to named it). He slowly turn and see the same person that haunted his brain sleeping peacefully beside him (and cutely, if he may speak but he know better that it wasn’t the right time to think about it, no scratch that, there are no right time to think that your band mates is cute) as naked as himself only covered by a piece of blanket.

“What the hell is going on?” was the only thing Tegoshi's furious brain can think.

Second Part could be found here

shige-sensei as a ronin
i love popolo magazine october edition that i got from (thank you~) inala lj

NEWS photoshoot theme is samurai.

i really love their pose.

Keiichan's pose was like an ill samurai, since his face was too pale *sorry keiichan..xD
Massu's pose was like usual samurai..but the rings tell us "that's massu!"*what kind of comment! sorry, Massu.. *^*
Tego's pose, firstly i think he's the best (since i never meet samurai in blond xD), the way he sway his katana was convict me
but when i saw Shige-sensei's pose, i think he's the winner of this theme!

He's just perfectly fit in the ronin character. to saw his wavy hair and his lined eyebrow, i can imagine the hunger of revenge and his sorrow life as a ronin *ceilee..

she'd just found an interesting conclution for what she'd been ask in her mind since long time ago. about what happen to her?

sometimes she feels happy, very positive, and thinks 'i can do anything. i am the best!'.
but in the other times, she feels depress, thinks that 'i am useless' and 'no one love me', cries without particular reason.

at first, she thinks that's just effects from hormonal-things.
her father twice asked her to go to the therapist (at times they fought, which is just made her even angrier..).
after that she'd just realized that 'i am harmful for others' when she was trying to physically hurt her sister (that made her sister scared)
and feels undesirable, when her mother talk to her without staring on her eyes.
she realizes that she is sick, not physically..

for time being, from what she's reading today, she thinks these are bipolar symptoms, which is mean she had bipolar disorder.
and she needs to be healed.
but how?

traveling *part 5
perjalanan di hiroshima, osaka, dan kyoto sangat sangat sangat positif. >,<
di hiroshima perjalanan ke shukkeien garden, genbaku dome, dan miyajima bersama hitomi-chan sangat menyenangkan. banyak hal menarik yang dilihat, banyak oleh2 yang dibeli..fufufu.
di osaka kesampaian ke semua tempat yang rencananya mau dikunjungi, meskipun sorenya sempet hujan gerimis. di kyoto juga alhamdulillah bisa sampai ke fushimi inari dan arashiyama.

nah jumat sore habis dari kyoto adalah waktunya pergi ke tokyo, ke apato nya temen yang kenal dari fb, namanya Asyifaa Rahma. oya, sebelum ke apato nya syifa, berkunjung ke ramen shop nya keluarga keiichan dulu, namanya ryutaro ramen di daerah kanagawa. karena deket dari stasiun dan udah baca fan report yang pernah ke sana jadi gampang nemuin ramen shop nya.

pas di sana antriannya rada panjang dan ternyata semua pengunjungnya adalah fans news! semuanya perempuan dan mereka asyik foto2 di dalam ramen shop. yabai, doki2 shita..sempet ngobrol sama dua orang fans dari hongkong yang mau nonton konser hari minggu. karena antrian panjang dan saya juga ga yakin bisa makan di sana, akhirnya saya hanya ngasih hadiah titipan teh riikushi ke mamanya keiichan, bener2 mamanya sangat mirip keiichan >,< terutama di bagian matanya..anget rasanya ditanya "asalnya dari mana?" ga banyak si yang diinget, cuma inget mama keiichan pakai celemek, pakai baju item, rambut panjang digelung, beliau sibuk bawain pesenan soalnya jadi ga bisa ngobrol panjang dan saya harus ngejar kereta ke fuchu (tempat tinggal syifa)..

setelah turun di stasiun yang dimaksud, sampai di tempat syifa dengan bantuan dari dua orang mahasiswa yang secara kebetulan ternyata kakak kelasnya syifa, namanya Jun-san asal korea dan pacarnya (lupa namanya) asal jepang. sepanjang jalan kita heboh ngobrolin tentang tegoshi dan skandal dengan anak AKB..xD

setelah ketemu syifa untuk pertama kalinya, rasanya banyak bgt yang pengen diobrolin, akhirnya baru tidur jam 12, jam 2.30 bangun sholat subuh, udah gitu ngobrol lagi, tidur lagi, dan bangun lagi jam 11 siang. >,< siap2 berangkat untuk antri goodies dan nonton konser..

traveling *part 4
sampai di terminal 2 bandara narita
mba yang sempat berkenalan di KL itu ternyata udah menunggu saya, biar bisa bareng ngurus imigrasinya. tapi sebelumnya kita gantian ke toilet dulu. pada momen di toilet itulah civilization saya mulai muncul kembali..saya menanyakan kepada pengguna sebelumnya (kebetulan saya mengantre japanese style toilet) "excuse me, how to use it?" kayanya beliau orang jepang (dan rada sulit pakai kata bahasa inggris) dia jawab sambil nunjuk2 "here" (dia nunjukin pengumuman yang tertera di dalem toiletnya) "okay, thank you.." balas saya.

pintu toilet pun saya kunci. setelah menunaikan hajat..saya baru menyadari bahwa di sana tidak ada yang namanya selang air untuk membasuh bekas pipis..dengan panik yang diikuti kepasrahan, saya ambil tissu toilet untuk bebersih dan menekan tombol bilas. T^T sekian pengalaman (ga jelas) saya menggunakan japanese style toilet..sampai momen itu, tiba2 terngiang kembali kata-kata bapak sehari sebelum berangkat "kak, di jepang kan toiletnya ga pakai air untuk bebersihnya.." yang kala itu saya jawab enteng "masa sih? ada koq yang pakai air, nanti cari yang pakai air aja.." dari pengalaman sederhana ini saya belajar untuk tidak menganggap enteng tiap masalah yang akan saya hadapi..XD saran saya buat yang ga biasa untuk bebersih bekas pipis pakai tissu, baiknya ga menggunakan japanese style toilet. :)

di bagian imigrasi kita diminta untuk mengisi form yang nantinya ditempelkan di paspor, isinya tentang data diri dan akan tinggal dimana selama di jepang. alhamdulillah ga banyak kendala di sini, tinggal lihat itinerary yang udah diprint untuk tujuh hari di sana. yang canggung adalah ketika mencari JR office, kendalanya bahasa inggris saya pas-pasan sekali..-_- khawatirnya petugas yang ditanya nyangka saya berbahasa planet mana, akhirnya mereka pun menggunakan gerakan tangan untuk menunjuk ke arah yang dituju, dan alhamdulillah sampai di JR office (ternyata jaraknya cuma sekitar 100 meter dari information center yang saya datangi).

di JR office saya dilayani sama petugas bermasker yang entah kenapa terlihat sangat kakkoi.. XD *nani kore?? sebenernya sedikit penasaran wajahnya seperti apa, tapi semuanya berlalu begitu saja karena kepikir takut ketinggalan kereta kalau berlama-lama di JR office.

setelah menuruni eskalator, saya duduk di bangku stasiun, lanjut makan pagi dengan bekel nasi sama ikan teri dari rumah (kurang lebih sekitar jam 8 ketika nunggu NEX). sambil nyari2 sinyal wifi (dan alhamdulillah dapet jadi bisa ikut chat di grup wa), saya nanya2 ke orang "ini bukan ya keretanya?" tiap ada kereta yang lewat, sambil nunjukkin tiket yang tadi diurus di JR Office.

teringat kisah rasulullah saw. pas ditanya malaikat jibril tentang hari kiamat, jawaban beliau saw. "yang ditanya tidak lebih tahu daripada yang bertanya.." kurang lebih keadaannya mirip2 saat itu.. sampai hampir ketinggalan kereta, tapi alhamdulillah keburu juga naik pas diinfokan "kereta tujuan shinagawa"

keretanya super nyaman, di sini civilization saya muncul lagi, saya mundur dan majukan sandaran kursi xD sambil foto2 pemandangan rumah2 yang di lewati kereta. saya sempet berpikir jepang itu sepi ketika ngeliat rumah2 yang kayanya kosong dan hampir ga keliatan ada pejalan kaki atau penumpang di beberapa stasiun yang dilewati si NEX.

turun di shinagawa, saya terperanjat ngeliat petugas mesin kaleng minuman yang rada mirip sama nino *^*, mau chat ke teh risa tapi karena udah ga dapet sinyal jadi ga bisa curcol di grup wa..-_- mau nanya ke dia, eh dia udah lagi diajak ngobrol sama kakek2, kayanya si nanya line kereta juga. akhirnya saya naik tangga, nanya ke petugas, saya harus ke peron (line) berapa sambil nunjukin tiket. dan beliau nunjukin arahnya.

beberapa saat setelah sampai di peron yang tepat, shinkansennya datang. saya naik kebetulan di 'car' yang tepat (saat itu masih belum ngeh ternyata tiap gerbong atau 'car' ada barisnya sendiri-sendiri pas kita ngantre untuk naik..)

setelah 5 jam perjalanan dengan shinkansen, saya sampai di stasiun okayama, di situ saya transit untuk naik shinkansen yang menuju ke hiroshima. masih belum sadar tentang baris ngantre 'car', saya nanya ke bapak petugas keberangkatan kereta "sorry, i want to go to hiroshima" sambil nunjukkin tiket yang udah direserved, tapi karena beliau sibuk persiapan keberangkatan shinkansen (sambil ngacung2in bendera merah dan niup peluit), jawabannya jadi rada singkat dan kurang saya pahami..yaudah saya jalan untuk nyari tempat duduk.

ternyata eh ternyata, bapak petugas tadi menghampiri saya ke tempat duduk, kurang lebih yang saya pahami beliau bilang "maaf, yang tadi apa sudah mengerti?" "car number 5, here" (beliau nunjuk di bagian bawah deket garis kuning ada tulisan 'car number 5 for sakura, 7 for nozomi' di situ baru saya sadar sepenuhnya..dan kagum jepang itu sangat teratur ya, semua hal diatur sampai detail dan sangat ramah bagi yang baru pertama kali ke stasiun seperti saya, makin makin deh jatuh hati sama jepang. saya langsung bilang terima kasih sama bapak petugas dan maaf karena merepotkan, si bapak membungkuk berkali-kali.

setelah tenang karena sudah tahu line dan tempat mengantre car yang benar, saya nerusin makan yang tadi belum habis, kereta datang tepat waktu, jam 17 seingat saya.

sampai di hiroshima sekitar jam 18, saya menunggu kabar dari teh risa dan teman yang tinggal di shimane, hitomi chan. saya berjalan kaki ke arah penginapan yang sudah dipesan sebelumnya, namanya Hana Hostel, kamarnya sangat positif (meskipun sekamar berempat tapi rapi) dan kamar mandinya bersih..cita-cita saya sesampai di kamar langsung mandi alhamdulillah tercapai (di sini lagi-lagi rada civilization ga ngerti cara pake shower biar keluar air anget..fufufu), setelahnya baru ngobrol-ngobrol dengan dua penghuni kamar yang sudah lebih dulu menginap (orang switzerland), tentang perjalanan mereka sebelumny di kyoto, dan rencana perjalanan kita masing-masing selama di hiroshima.

malam pukul 8.30 hitomi chan datang ke penginapan (setelah sebelumnya pas check in hitomi chan telepon, katanya mau menyusul ke hana hostel dan minta untuk reserve supaya bisa sekamar) yokatta~ lega rasanya setelah hitomi chan dateng, sempet khawatir karena dia lagi hamil 5 bulan jalan malem2 kan..untung di hiroshima, bukan jakarta.. xD setelah hitomi chan dateng kita keluar untuk makan malem di salah satu warung okonomiyaki. dan menunya ternyata sangat positif sekali, salad dan omelet kejunya itu..:9 positif banget buat referensi makan di hiroshima.